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Once upon a time a wizard came to a half-ling and said: Do you hear that? Wait. There. That's the evil bass of death. You must carry it to the evil mountain of death and cast it into the fiery pits of death.
Do you understand? Good. Off you go!
So the half-ling then became the evil bass bearer. (And he went and went!)
Across the mountains, across the river without error. (And he went and went!)
On the way he met some fairies and they fed him boysenberries (delicious).
On the way he met some fairies and they fed him boysenberries (even more then he could chew).
So the half-ling reached the evil mountain. (The evil mountain of death.)
And he threw the bass in to the fiery pits. (The fiery pits of death.)
And then he thought: I better get home quickly.
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2. |
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When I'm looking out my window, looking at the world outside, sometimes all I see is rain. But if I had the chance to go back in time to re-decide, I would still come here again.
And I think about my friends, far away where the world ends.
And that all we've got is email and an I.P. telephone.
I wonder if it rains at home.
All the world outside is wet, I hope soon the sun will shine instead of this pouring rain. Sometimes I just like to let my mind wander back in time, 'til the sun comes out again.
And I think about Mom and Dad, now probably asleep in bed.
And that all we've got is email and an I.P. telephone.
I wonder if it rains at home.
Solo! Well, seems like the guy doing the solo didn't show up. Just enjoy the fun bass line then.
And I think about my friends, far away where the world ends.
And that all we’ve got is email and an I.P. telephone, which we too much leave alone.
And I'm thinking about home, in a different timezone.
And that all there is is email and an I.P. telephone.
I wonder if it rains at home.
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3. |
Hair
02:17
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I was hanging out in my empty tub, ready for a little scrub scrub scrub, when suddenly I became aware of hair.
My arms and legs and also my chest! I can't believe I'm such a hairy mess! Holy comb, I'm covered everywhere with hair.
Hair, hair grows everywhere, hair, hair grows everywhere,
hair, hair grows everywhere on me.
On my legs, on my toes, under my arms, and in my nose.
The times when hair was cool are over, you either shave or are no lover. What's not en vogue, especially down there, is hair.
The industry of hair removal does not ask for your approval. You, too could be a millionaire on hair.
Hair, hair grows everywhere, hair, hair grows everywhere,
hair, hair grows everywhere on me.
On my head, on my parts, especially on my parts, and around my asshole.
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4. |
Hospital
03:02
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People carry people through the door, people leave traces of blood on the floor.
People in handcuffs disappear inside, and cops with guns follow right behind.
Summer, summer, summer, spring and fall, people come and go at the hospital.
A place that's always busy and never ever quiet.
People got a problem, they walk in. Some walk in alone and come out with twins.
People drop by to get their medicine, other people stay for detoxing.
Unconscious people after too much beer, whatever wounds they have, they end up here.
Inside they heal people that are a mess, and sometimes they pull a wad of cash out of someone's ass.
Summer, summer, summer, spring and fall, people come and go at the hospital.
A place that's always busy and never ever quiet.
Summer, summer, summer, spring and fall, people come and go at the hospital.
A place that's always busy and never ever quiet.
Summer, summer, summer, spring and fall, people come and go at the hospital.
A place that's always busy and never ever quiet.
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5. |
Tales of a fish
03:42
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Yesterday I was a fish, today I'm sitting on a dish.
Yesterday I was alive, but then I met a filleting knife.
Yesterday I swam the sea. Yesterday I was roaming free.
I could smell and touch and feel, but today I'm just a meal.
Don’t kill us, we are your friends.
Don’t kill us, we are your friends.
For a steak, tender and juicy, they have killed a cow named Lucy.
She wore a bell on a chain, but it will never ring again.
How they slaughter whales in Norway, and they skin cavies in Peru.
Bears and crocodiles must fuck more, so we can eat more humans, too.
Don’t eat us, we are your friends.
Don’t eat us, we are your friends.
Would you kill your poker buddy, would you shoot your high school friend?
Would you eat your next door neighbor, just because they can't defend
themselves against technology that we just can’t invent?
Remember that most of us don't even have hands.
To fight back your guns and C4 all we have to show
is that we rely on evolution which is kind of slow.
Don’t eat us, we are your friends.
Don’t eat us, we are your friends.
Don’t eat us, we are your friends.
Don’t eat us, we are your friends. One more time!
Don’t eat us, we are your friends. We are!
Don’t eat us, we are your friends.
We really are.
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6. |
My heart is a strawberry
02:36
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My heart is a strawberry baby, hm, hm, hm, oh, oh, oh.
It's red and fresh and juicy, baby, oh, oh, oh, hm, hm, hm.
My heart is a strawberry baby, would you like a bite,
taste the freshness, drink the juices to your great delight.
My heart is a strawberry baby, oh, oh, oh, yeah,
and it's never mushy on the underside.
My heart is a strawberry baby, hm, hm, hm, oh, oh, oh.
It's my gift from me to you, hm, hm, hm, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
My heart is a strawberry baby, just the way to you like,
ripe and fresh and always ready to strike.
My heart is a strawberry baby, oh, oh, oh, yeah.
It's a berry of a divine kind. Yeah, yeah.
Strawberry baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a berry very, very hard to find.
My heart is a strawberry baby, it's a sacred fruit,
and you may wrap yourself around it, hm, yeah, yeah,yeah.
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7. |
Peanut butter sandwich
03:26
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Hm, hm, aha, yeah, yeah. Hm, hm, yeah. Oh, baby, yeah. Hey, let's go.
Peanut butter sandwich, I eat it every day.
Peanut butter sandwich, I need it every day.
If I can’t have my peanut butter sandwich everyday, then I'll get very cranky and that’s why I say:
Peanut butter sandwich is no good by itself.
Peanut butter sandwich is no good by itself.
If you will ever try a peanut butter sandwich by itself,
then you will soon discover: It's no good by itself.
Yeah! Peanut butter sandwich, baby!
Oh, Peanut butter sandwich, I eat it every day.
Peanut butter sandwich, I need it every day.
If I can’t get my peanut butter sandwich everyday, then I'll get irritated, I shrivel up and die!
Oh, peanut butter sandwich goes very well with soy milk.
Peanut butter sandwich goes very well with soy milk.
If you have ever tried a peanut butter sandwich with soy milk,
then you know what I am talking about, peanut butter sandwich with soy milk.
Peanut butter sandwich! Baby, peanut butter sandwich!
Oh, If I can’t have my peanut butter sandwich everyday, then I'll get fucked up, and that's why I say:
Peanut butter sandwich, I eat it every day.
Peanut butter sandwich, I need it every day.
If I can’t have my peanut butter sandwich everyday, then I'll get irritated.
What the fuck? Why do you stop playing?
Peanut butter sandwich, I eat it every day. Yeah!
Peanut butter sandwich, I eat it every day.
Hello?
Hey?
What the fuck?
Suckers.
Fucking hired bands.
Hm!
Well, peanut butter sandwich!
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8. |
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Hello?
No.
No.
No!
Fuck off!
Everyday some guy calls on the phone, he wants to know if Pauline is home. I tell him that I have no idea, because there ain't no Pauline living here.
He could be her father, lawyer, husband or her pimp, Pauline could be in Louisiana maybe fishing shrimp.
Oh, Pauline, she doesn’t live here anymore!
She moved away and she didn’t tell you!
The reasons for that you have to figure out yourself, but in the meantime call somebody else!
Guy keeps calling but he hangs up quick. He is my only source about this chick. Who is Pauline, where is she now and who is this man,
is he out to bug me or just a Pauline fan?
He could be Cosa Nostra, carpenter or priest. Pauline maybe worked on the phone and he needs to release.
Oh, Pauline, she doesn’t live here anymore!
She moved away and she didn’t tell you!
The reasons for that you have to figure out yourself, but in the meantime call somebody else!
Perhaps it is just a wrong number, that is disturbing my slumber. Perhaps it was love at first sight, and the stupid guy didn’t take down her number right.
Maybe she's waiting for him, or maybe she is fishing shrimp. Maybe he's a contract killer, who walks with a limp.
Oh, Pauline, she doesn’t live here anymore!
She moved away and she didn’t tell you!
The reasons for that you have to figure out yourself, but in the meantime call somebody else!
Oh, Pauline, Pauline, she does not live here!
She could be far and she could be near!
Sorry man, why don't you hire a P.I.?
I can't help you, so this is good, good, good, good-bye.
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9. |
Vertigo calling
03:40
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Fuck off chicken, you disturb my Chi!
I think there's something wrong with me, I'm experiencing dizziness.
I think there's something wrong with me, cause I'm experiencing dizziness.
Oh, vertigo's calling, vertigo is calling for me.
Even if I lay down, the world keeps spinning round and round.
Even if I lay down, the world keeps spinning round and round.
Oh, oh, vertigo's calling, vertigo is calling for me.
Maybe I had too much booze, or maybe too much drug abuse.
But I didn't have either, weird. Maybe I should start to use.
However, oh, vertigo's calling, vertigo is calling for me.
Maybe to much masturbation is fucking up my shit.
It’s fucking up my concentration. Yeah, yeah, that might be it.
Vertigo's calling, Vertigo is calling for me.
Maybe I should not whack my head against the wall next to my bed.
But what else will train me for fighting at the UFC?
Oh, vertigo's calling, vertigo is calling for me.
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10. |
Where is Jack Bauer?
01:54
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My babe and I were in a field, making out when suddenly a nuclear bomb exploded right behind us.
That kind of spoiled the fun we had, it was kind of a downer, I wish someone had said, it was gonna be blown here.
Oh, where's Jack Bauer, when you need him, our chance of survival is not even slim...
...humans have created god's famous fist. Is the world at war, is it terrorists?
We didn't feel it, no, not at all. There's only nuclear winter, there’s no nuclear fall.
We dis-integrated, we vaporized, reduced completely to atomic size.
Where is Jack Bauer, when you need him?
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Brato Useba Nova Scotia
I like to write songs. I record them.
Dress sharp. Support the artist @
bratouseba.dizzyjam.com or
bratouseba.threadless.com
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